July 15

Yeah, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory comes out July 15. I can't wait! Here is a great page that has all the trailors and teasers... This is the link.

Sweeeeeet.

Real Life

I love Non Sequitur. This was from yesterday, and it is 100% my life with Gohan.

"Live For Today"

So, the TODAY Show is doing this cool series called, "Live For Today". I figured I would compose my own 'Live For Today List.'

- Visit Australia
- Drive cross country with Justin
- Go to Europe with my Dad
- See an entire season of Green Bay Packers games in person
- Parasail in the caribbean
- Explore a volcano
- Go to Mardi Gras
- Visit every state
- See Justin fulfill his ultimate wish

I am sure there are others... I will add later.

Be careful what you wish for...

Courtesy of Mom...

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.

The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.

"The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man, "same for me," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.

"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Be careful what you wish for...

Office Dares - Part 4

The final installment...

How to keep a healthy level of insanity:

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4) Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".

5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

7) Don't use any punctuation

8) Use, too...much; punctuation!

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12) Sing along at the opera.

13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."

17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"

18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....

19) Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this -- or just post it on your Web site.

Office Dares - Part 3

FIVE-POINT DARES

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights."(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts. And if that wasn't enough for you...

Office Dares - Part 2

TWO-POINT DARES

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

Office Dares - Part 1

Courtesy of VFC ---

ONE-POINT DARES

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."

6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Darlington Bo

We are heading to a race under the lights on Saturday night. Whoooeee! No, really - I am looking forward to it. There are 12 of us going. Todd is coming down from the good ole' state of MI to join us. He gets in on Thursday evening, and Thursday just happens to be May 5 - Cinco de Mayo!! The plan is to go out for Mexican Food in the evening, pick Todd up at 10ish when his plane rolls in, and then head to Jakes. Should be a good time.

To get us in the mood for the race here are some Darlington Facts

• There have been 99 NASCAR Winston Cup (Grand National) races at Darlington since the track opened in 1950.
• Forty-two drivers have posted Bud Poles at Darlington.
• Bill Elliott leads all active drivers with five Bud Poles at Darlington.
• Retired driver David Pearson leads all drivers with 12 poles at Darlington.
• Charlie Glotzbach and Cale Yarborough posted identical qualifying times for the 1968 Southern 500. Glotzbach was credited with the pole because he qualified first.
• The race has been won from the pole on 19 occasions at Darlington, the most of any starting position.
• The furthermost back that a race winner has started at Darlington was 43rd in the inaugural Southern 500 in 1950 by Johnny Mantz. Since 1955, only Bobby Labonte (37th in the fall of 2000) and Ward Burton (37th in the fall 2001) have won at Darlington from a starting position further back than 15th.
• Only 12 of the 99 NASCAR Winston Cup (Grand National) races at Darlington have been won from a starting position outside the top 10.
  
• A total of 38 drivers have won NASCAR Winston Cup races at Darlington.
  
• Jeff Gordon leads all active drivers each with six victories at Darlington.
  
• Retired driver David Pearson leads all drivers with 10 victories at Darlington.
• In the 46 years of twice-yearly NASCAR Winston Cup racing at Darlington (1957 to 2002), a sweep has occurred nine times.
  
• Jeff Burton was the last driver to win both Darlington races in the same year (1999).
• The race at Darlington has been shortened by rain on eight occasions, six of those in the Labor Day classic.
  
• There has been only one race run caution-free at Darlington, the 1963 Rebel 300.