Snooty Wafflehump

My mom brightened my day with this forward earlier. Her Subject line
was "Boobie Potty-Shorts" The idea was that you followed the
instructions and then sent back to the person that sent it to you and
forwarded to your entire address book with your new "name" as the
subject line. I prefer blogging. Feel free to comment back with your
new name.

As I understand, this is an excerpt from a children's book, Captain
Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey,
in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

So:-

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:

a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your surname to determine the first half
of your new last name:

a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdl e

3. Use the third letter of your surname to determine the second half
of your new last name:

a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

And remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults
laugh an average of 4 times a day.